grieving process

Processing Grief

For many years, grief was commonly described in five “stages.” While those emotions (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) are very real experiences, we now understand that grief is not a straight line and not something we move through in neat, orderly steps. It is far more personal, layered, and unique to each individual.

Grief is not a problem to solve or a timeline to complete. It is a journey of learning how to carry love and loss at the same time.

Dr. Tiffany Bailey-Slone of Bailey's Bridges reminds us that healing comes, not by erasing the pain, but learning to live alongside grief instead of being overtaken by it, embracing its lessons and growing through the process. She also teaches that healing from grief is a deeply personal journey. The path is solitary, but we can walk it with others by our side. Support, understanding, and compassionate companions can make the road less heavy.

Contemporary grief education, including the work of Dr. Alan Wolfelt, encourages us to think less about “stages” and more about the needs of mourning. Instead of trying to rush toward feeling better, we are invited to:



• Acknowledge the reality of the loss
• Allow ourselves to experience the pain that comes with it
• Remember the person who died and honor their story
• Adjust to a world that feels unfamiliar without them
• Seek meaning and continue loving in new ways

Grief may bring shock and numbness at first, a natural response that helps us function during overwhelming moments. Anger may surface, often rooted in the depth of our love and pain. Guilt and “what if” thoughts can arise as we wrestle with wishing things had been different. Deep sadness may follow as the reality settles in. Over time, rather than “getting over” the loss, we begin learning how to carry it differently.

Acceptance does not mean we are “okay” with what happened. It means we are gradually finding ways to live in this new reality. We begin to build a life that holds both sorrow and gratitude. We discover that it is possible to move forward while still holding on.

Grief changes us. It asks us to feel, to remember, to reflect, and sometimes to grow in unexpected ways. There is no right pace and no right formula. Some days will feel heavier than others. Milestones and ordinary moments alike can stir emotions when we least expect them.

What matters most is giving yourself permission to grieve in your own way and allowing others to walk beside you. Healing does not come from forgetting. It comes from remembering with love, finding meaning in the relationship that continues in your heart, and learning, little by little, how to live fully again

How long am I going to feel this way?

Every person is different, and so is their grief. Each of us walks a unique path toward healing, shaped by our relationship, our personality, our faith, and our life experiences. Grief is not something to rush or measure against someone else’s timeline. There is no “right” or “wrong” amount of time to mourn. For many, the first year can be especially tender as they face holidays, birthdays, and everyday moments without their loved one. Healing unfolds gradually, in its own way and in its own time.

Complicated Grief

The duration of the mourning process can also be influenced by your relationship to the deceased, the amount of support you receive, and other factors.

Sometimes the healing process may become disrupted or delayed if other events or traumatic losses have previously occurred in a person’s life. This may be especially true if the other loss is relatively recent, or has never been fully processed in and of itself. This grief experience is known as “complicated grief.” People who are dealing with this type of grief may benefit by working with professionals who are trained in dealing with complex grief issues.

If, after some time has passed, you find your grief is still persistent and disruptive to the point where it impacts your daily functions, please seek professional counseling.

Bailey's Bridges

Join our free grief support program Bailey's Bridges, guided by our in-house psychologist